Does Being Hard on Yourself Make you Better?

Many people believe that being hard on themselves is what helps them succeed. You might think that self-criticism keeps you improving, decreasing the amount of mistakes, and is even motivating. In fact, for some people, being tough on themselves has been part of how they have achieved some of their goals.

But being hard on yourself “works,” until it doesn’t.

While there’s often a positive feedback in the beginning, it quickly starts working against you. Over time, constant self-criticism often becomes exhausting. Instead of feeling motivated, many people are stuck in looping thoughts replaying mistakes, feeling like nothing they do is ever good enough. The result? Stress, shame, and burnout.

Many people that are hard on themselves are really compassionate to others. They tend to be understanding of others’ short comings and are willing to lend a helping hand. But extending that to themselves feels…impossible.

Self-compassion offers a better way.

Self-compassion doesn’t lower your standards- it actually helps you pursue your goals in a healthier mind state. When you replace harsh self-criticism with understanding, like you would extend to a friend, you gain more resilience, clarity, and experience more joy along the way.